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11/08/2005 |
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The French Riots Take a Twist | |
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News reports are coming out of France that Jacques Chirac has sent in the French Army to crush the devasting violent riots taking place in the suburbs of Paris. Now in its 12th day, the riots have begun to spread throughout the country and into Belgium and Germany. The riots which have gotten more violent each day has claimed two lives thus far. Chirac has stated, "We must end this insanity at all costs." Chirac ordered the 2nd Brigade Blindee to go in and end the rioting. Once engaged, however, the French Army quickly laid down their arms and surrended to the street gangs. The gangs, not sure what to do have told the troops to sit in a field unprotected until they figure out where to enprison them. Embedded reporter Harold La Gauche had this to say. "It was utter chaos. The men set up a fixed position on Rue de la Pesche. The hooligans went around the block and came up behind us. Such an action unheard of in the long history of French Military. As the hooligans approached us, they began to thrown stones. One hit the helmet of the trooper next to me. After one person threw a bottle, pandamonium broke out. Men were running for their lives, I have never seen so much fear. The Colonel Boulliarie valliantly took the white flag from his pocket and bravely ran in front of his men. He ordered them to put their guns on the ground and hands on their heads. Their enemies, were bewildered and humbled by their victory."  General Pierre Remoullade contacted the United States for assistance in rescueing the troops who were captured. "We have asked the United States to rescue or men, since we fear any other French troops will also surrender."In related news, Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense was hospitalized for complications stemming from hyperventaling due to prolonged uncontrollable laughter. |
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